O miscellaneous friend, please do be so kind as to tell me
all the sordid details of your sexual life.
By all means, tell me how long it was, how long he could go for—
please do not stop, I am so deeply intrigued when you count
every single position you two squirmed into that night—it
seems that you emptied out whole Kama Sutras yourselves
(or, failing that, at least a website or two). Oh, and do not
fail to repeat all the sweet nothings he dripped in your ears.
Show me with wanton pride every roseate love bite he left you;
moan like a dying cow while you explain that you're sore;
tie me down and force each throbbing pulsating detail
into my protesting throat—
What?
You took pictures?
… oh, God.
Hell, I was laughing as soon as you said "conversational rape"...
And yeah, the meter thing did it's job damn well.